Drum roll, please.
Today, Leenie rallied so well that at 2 pm Dr. Cross gave her her first dose of chemotherapy! It is the second drug of the combo which will be given twice a week for 3 weeks. Since she didn't have any bad side effects (except fatigue - expected), he's decided to give her the big gun, Platinum (what with her hair, she wouldn' have it any other way) which will be given once every 3 wks. She told brother Philip that if she responds well (ie, doesn't have bad effects that would interfere with her nutritional build-up process), she may go home Thursday. (He was present when she told him, so telephonic mis-communication can be ruled out.)
So. Leenie had to go back to the hospital because she was dehydrated & the disease had robbed her of her appetitie and interest in liquid intake (certainly a first for those who know her). But (& hopefully there won't be any more of those). When I approached her on the bathroom floor, retching, pale, her eyes glazed with fear & cofusion, she asked, "Am I dying?" I responded that yes, she was, but not imminently. Rather the disease had apparently advanced significantly and rapidly, with malice and stealth, unwelcome and delighting in its clever, powerful repulsiveness while she slept. Tossing its head back with victorious laughter at the sight of her - helpless, terrified, reduced to a cold, unsavory bathroom floor for her mattress, it did not consider that discovering that she had time, choices and acres of down-blanketed support, Leenie, as she told me later upon receiving the news - "No primary site." - "I plan on getting better."
We then gave each other the Eucharist and packed quickly, quietly - about to go out into the cold night (cold was simply an annoying companion) to seek, find and then use each quill carefully, thoughtfully acquired and put at the ready to face, suffer through, battle with and, God willing, vanquish the enemy.
Let's make sure we're all with her, armed with the innocent confidence of the little ones, so that we are not just with her but actively feeling, tasting, smelling, hating that which our collective will might destroy with the Cross our mighty sword. . .
Lorane
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4 comments:
I am with you in every way, E.
Sending you lots of love and prayers, Charlene
Dear, dear Linbay Ave
First I want to wish each and all of you a hopeful and healthy New Year...I know it might seem hard to focus on that right now considering the challenges all of you are living through. No one ever said cancer was pretty....and boy!..you paint a vivid picture of the atrocities perpetrated by thouse evil, evil cells. When Eileen asked..."Am I dying?" It made me think of a sentiment my father-in-law believed: From the first day we are born we begin our dying! My mother-in-law disliked him saying that ALOT! So, you are very correct in saying "yes, not imminently" Life is a struggle...but those joyous moments we have with our friends and family make it all woth the while. Eileen...I love you, my friend! It's going to be tough...I would never lie to you (Icouldn't)....very, very tough. But, I KNOW you are that "little engine that could" (see, I do read once in awhile). YOU ARE THAT ENGINE!!!!!!!! Keep chugging. I love you. Have a hopeful, full of love, big-hug New Year. Marge
PS This is for Dr. Phil (the best brother ever!)
You better snap up that OBAMA blanket in the gift shop NOW...it would really put a SMILE on Leenster's face (and mine too). You have every right to be skeptical...but be HOPEFUL too! I'm crazy about you...Marge
Eileen- as Loraine, your doctor, and Marge have said, it is going to be tough- really, really tough- You have no idea how many people are keeping you and your family in their thoughts and prayers- we love you Eileen- I love you! The power of prayer is amazing--TRULY amazing. This along with your strength are going to get you through this uphill battle!
Its funny- I was thinking of you yesterday- about how all of us used to bring in the new year as children in Cleveland Heights (years before you moved there and you guys would visit)- We would all bring in the year banging pots and pans-as loud as we possibly could- you saying "the louder the better"- I don't know why we ever did this- my interpretation is that we would do this to scare away any demons for a new time, a new year, a NEW BEGINNING!!!- unfortunately, I couldn't ask the chef for a pot or pan in the restaurant that I was in while bringing in the new year last night (Marge and you tought us better than that and I think I would have brought a little too much attention to myself) but when that clock struck 12- you were in my thoughts- and if I could have BUT, I WAS mentally, banging those pots and pans so hard together for you- hopefully chasing away all your fears and giving you hope and strength every single day in 2009!
I told Marge this a couple of weeks ago- and I want you to know that the beginning of 2009 is going to consist of me training for a half marathon that is going to take place on May 2. Every single run these past couple of weeks and from this day forward I will be thinking of you and Molly Goodwin. Your strength and daily fight is giving me motivation to not only run, but to run HARDER and FASTER- its a daily task- and I know that some days are going to be harder than others- and some days I may not want to run- but I seriously have been on that tread mill wanting to slow it down because of exhaustion but the moment I think of you and your fight- I ALWAYS get a boost of energy- NOT ONCE, HAVE I NOT!
You will fight this Eileen- and I know that this time next year, your strength and everyones prayers will have scared those demons away!
Please know, I will be constantly banging those pots and pans so hard for you...you can hear them in Virginia Beach!
I love you and Happy New Year!!!
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